Saturday, January 14, 2012

So frustrated...

I think I am having a food melt down. Over the past few days I have to force myself to eat. Nothing sounds good, I want nothing. I go stand in the kitchen and wanna cry angry tears of frustration. While there is a kitchen crammed full of food, tons of which I can't eat, but some things I can, I want none of it. Logically I know I need to eat to get in the protein but I just can't. When I try to make myself eat a meal just to get in the protein, it tastes horrible and I usually end up giving most to the dogs.

I'm so tired of my old standby, chicken. If I eat one more piece of chicken I am going to grow feathers and start clucking. I had 2 protein shakes today (thankfully they are just over 30g of protein each) but the thought of eating anything for dinner just makes me want to throw a 2 year old tantrum. Yes I know. Not very mature but I am just so frustrated.

We were at HEB today looking at those small frozen tv dinner things. Weight watchers, lean cuisine etc. First off they are all totally loaded with sodium which I try to avoid. Most of them have a little bit of meat and the rest is rice, or potatoes or pasta. I cannot eat them, not because it is prohibited, while they aren't recommended, you can still have a little. I physically cannot eat them, after a small bite of a pasta or potato or rice they feel like they are stuck in my chest. Have you ever had an air bubble stuck in your chest? That is what it feels like, it is very uncomfy and nothing I do seems to make it better. I just have to wait it out, which is usually 10-15 mins.

So now I try and avoid those as much as I can. So those tv dinners aren't really a viable option for me. That just added to my frustrations. I have moments where I just want to be able to eat. Eat without having to think about it, eat without having to worry about any adverse reactions. Believe me I know that the health benefits far out weigh the issues. And I see it every time I look in the mirror and in the energy I feel every day. But I guess we all have our moments where we get down and apparently I am having one of those weeks.


Denora said...

The best, the very best, thing someone ever said to me while I was trying to lose weight was "Weight loss is a marathon, not a sprint." Some days are just going to suck more than others. Some days you're just going to want to cry and throw things either because you gained when you should have lost, because you lost but not enough, because you just can't find something healthy to eat that also tastes good, or because dammit that cheeseburger was delicious and now you have guilt. It's ok. It's not the end of the world. Try turkey instead of chicken, or really small portions of red meat if that's allowed. Eat tuna or tofu. Mix it up so you're not eating the same thing every time. And if you get frustrated, remember tomorrow is a totally new day. It's a marathon, not a sprint.

Christina said...

I like that; "is a marathon, not a sprint." I think I will print that out and put it in my room so every morning when I wake up I will see it. Thanks :)