It's been a while...

We excitedly went on spring break not realizing the world was going to change... Covid turned our worlds upside down and now here I sit years later no longer a first year teacher, not a second year teacher but I am nine weeks into my 8th year of teaching. 

My teaching journey took a few twists and turns over the past few years. After my fourth year of teaching 1st grade I excitedly got a position as a social studies teacher for 4th or 5th grade or at least I thought... A week before school was to start the principal at the intermediate school called me in and told me they needed me to teach 4th grade math. Panic was my first and foremost emotion. My issues with math made me doubt my ability to effectively teach 4th grade. Sensing my panic the principal told me that I had a good team of math teachers to support me and she would be there as well to guide me. 

My next thought was why? Why me? The simple answer was that I was a certified teacher and math is a STAAR tested subject, social studies is not at this grade level. They could put a para, a long term sub or even an uncertified teacher in the social studies position but they needed a certified teacher in math. The principal promised me they would keep looking for a teacher to fill the math spot and as soon as they did I would be moved into my dream position of 5th grade social studies. Guess what?  You guessed it they never found another teacher AND at the end of the year I was told I would be in math again. I asked to be transferred back to my old elementary school and had the choice of teaching 2nd or 3rd grade math. 

I have been a 3rd grade math teacher for three years now. But everything has changed, the curriculum, the admin, the kids, the environment and I cannot say it has changed for the better. 

And I cannot say that I am the same happy, excited teacher that used to write about her teaching journey. I am not sure where I lost her. Was it a slow progression? Is this just what happens to all teachers?  Or did covid, bad admin or the change in kids cause the shift in who I was as a teacher? 

Reading my old blogs made me sad to see how much I have changed. I still know most of my first class and see them when I attend some of their sports events. They make me feel a hint of the same feelings I had way back then. At times I have contemplated trying to get certified to teach high school so that when they all become freshmen next year I can try to find the old me. To try and find the love and excitement I once had. 

There are a lot more life updates that are much happier to share but that is a story for another blog. 

Confessions of a First Year Teacher

As I drove to my school on the first day of the year I was terrified, excited, emotional, apprehensive, and filled with an equal mix of self doubt along with self confidence. This was the moment I had spent years dreaming about. The moment I had been preparing for since I was 5 or 6 when I lined my dolls and stuffed animals up to give them a spelling test or to teach them numbers on my chalk board.

During my drive I wondered if my Grandma and Grandpa would be proud of me. The answer was whispered inside my head, an unequivocal YES! I then tried to remember all of the knowledge and advice my favorite professors had instilled in me throughout my education. I will admit it was all a little overwhelming. 

Once the parents left and 21 sets of little eyes were focused on me it was a magical moment. I had finally arrived, there was no more "working towards the goal". I am their teacher and this is my classroom where I am responsible for the education of these precious little beings staring back at me shyly. My nervousness slowly dissipated and I embraced my inner teacher. 

The first week of the school year was spent teaching CHAMPS procedures, CHAMPS behavior expectations, rules etc. After going over the initial discussion of what a CHAMP looks like I started to mix in math instruction with procedures while I modeled proper behaviors & we practiced our CHAMPS behaviors. Most of what I taught was a review of concepts taught in Kindergarten. This helped me get a sense of which kids were ready for more, which needed a little re-teaching and which needed more help with the basics. 

When I put my last kiddo in their parent's car on Friday I was beyond exhausted but I felt like the week had been successful, as long as you don't consider all the mistakes I made recording my attendance. Out of the 5 days I managed to do my attendance correctly 1 time. I think I made every mistake possible. On the positive side, I only made each mistake once. The poor secretary probably thought I was so dumb. My only excuse is I was already overwhelmed with trying to remember 65-70 student names, getting those said students to and from lunch/recess/library/music/gym and then making sure I don't send students to the wrong place at dismissal. 

I can't wait for week 2!!