My teaching journey took a few twists and turns over the past few years. After my fourth year of teaching 1st grade I excitedly got a position as a social studies teacher for 4th or 5th grade or at least I thought... A week before school was to start the principal at the intermediate school called me in and told me they needed me to teach 4th grade math. Panic was my first and foremost emotion. My issues with math made me doubt my ability to effectively teach 4th grade. Sensing my panic the principal told me that I had a good team of math teachers to support me and she would be there as well to guide me.
My next thought was why? Why me? The simple answer was that I was a certified teacher and math is a STAAR tested subject, social studies is not at this grade level. They could put a para, a long term sub or even an uncertified teacher in the social studies position but they needed a certified teacher in math. The principal promised me they would keep looking for a teacher to fill the math spot and as soon as they did I would be moved into my dream position of 5th grade social studies. Guess what? You guessed it they never found another teacher AND at the end of the year I was told I would be in math again. I asked to be transferred back to my old elementary school and had the choice of teaching 2nd or 3rd grade math.
I have been a 3rd grade math teacher for three years now. But everything has changed, the curriculum, the admin, the kids, the environment and I cannot say it has changed for the better.
And I cannot say that I am the same happy, excited teacher that used to write about her teaching journey. I am not sure where I lost her. Was it a slow progression? Is this just what happens to all teachers? Or did covid, bad admin or the change in kids cause the shift in who I was as a teacher?
Reading my old blogs made me sad to see how much I have changed. I still know most of my first class and see them when I attend some of their sports events. They make me feel a hint of the same feelings I had way back then. At times I have contemplated trying to get certified to teach high school so that when they all become freshmen next year I can try to find the old me. To try and find the love and excitement I once had.
There are a lot more life updates that are much happier to share but that is a story for another blog.
